Liberals Mis-Contraception of President Bush
by:  Thomas Lee Watts, Janitor/Reporter for RepublicanPress

Slappy Peterson, the other colored guy here at RepublicanPress.com, and I were busy cleaning Mr. Raymond's bathroom as we chatted, orificed, bantered, and jived with one another. Mr. Raymond Clodstill, as you all know, is the owner - and publisher of this online Republican magazine, and I am  proud to say that I be he'z bro-in-law. Yes'em, Mr. Raymond and me, Thomas Lee Watts, married sisters. He married the younger sister in Trudy, and I'z married the older sister Bootsie, but that not be why I work here - well, it be some of the reason I am a writer / janitor - ok, it be the reason why I work here, seeing how we be related.

"I'z think that the libel, lefist media, is out to get all they can on President Brush. Man, just look at how they play that story up  about that journalist, Jeff Gannon, not really being who he say'z he is, but I axe you, how many journalist use psycho names?  And, just look at how they come down on Armstrong Williams, and them other paid pundits. Man, o man, now they go and tell that Jeff Gannon had these homo-sectional web sites and other homo-sapien type online genre of the homerology."  Slappy said while the sweat beaded-up on his ebony forehead, as he leaned over and removed the urinal-cake from the urinal and replaced it with a fresh cake.

"That be President Bush and not President Brush, Slappy.  But, what you lingulate 'bout is more than true, purex if you will, when you transgendered your lingo. They, the libel, leftist, Democrat leaning media, are indeed libelers and they write with a libelised slant.  Sure, Jeff Gannon was using a psycho name, but as you'z axed me, how many reporters use a psychodonym ?"  I looked up at Slappy as I rectum-fied my case to him. It was then I noticed Slappy was using a fresh urinal cake on his nappy haired head.  It seems that Slappy liked the scent of the urinal cakes, and he also liked the sheen that it gives his nappy hair.

"The reporters should be axing President Brush 'bout Ben Loaden, you know the guy that is over all the tourists, but they'z don't.  No, they would rather embarrass President Brush and the Brush Menustration - you know, the people in the Brush Whitey House.  But, I will say, gynecologically speaking in the incestuous manner  that President Bush has time and time again been mis-contraceptive by the members of the press. They, the press, believe that  President Brush is a mycopagy waiting to happen, but you and I know that President Brush is an idiocy of things to come."  Slappy said with his stumpy, half-lit cigar dangling from his thick lips.

"Yes, you and I can honestly, and without any queer-i-dation, state that President Bush is cunnilingual in his approach, and too, he is vaginally pursuing monocracy.   The mother of all vaginal discomfort is President Bush when it comes to protruding his views on the state of the mammalian, nippley speaking, of course, and clitoris also."  I replied as I swished the toilet brush inside the toilets.

"Instead of worrying about Jeff Gannon, and if he'z be fag, queer, or a transcontinental, they'z should be worried about whether or not the tourists who attacked us is trying to get their hands on a gynecological bomb!  Them tourist, led by Ben Loaden, are after gynecological, necrological, or a chimerical type weapon of mass defecation. And, why isn't the Untied Nationals involved more in Iraq?  I axe you, why has the Untied Nationals - you know the people in the U.N. - been more libertine with help regarding the rebuilding, and the re-ramification of Iraq, and why do they still insist that Shalome Hodini didn't have weapons of mass defecation?" Slappy axed me as he stood there with his hair freshly shimmering from the urinal cake and his toilet brush dripping with excess water.

"I'z just don't know the answer to your quisby, but I do know that the libel, leftist, media is more into the papal excess of President  Bush, than they are into the circumcision of his progress!"  I said  as I flipped my toilet brush back into the pail of water, and we headed out of Mr. Raymond's restroom I added, "Mis-contraceptions of President Bush will never cease until they catch him exacerbating on the lawn of the White House!"

About The Author

Thomas Lee Watts