Dear Vic,

My daddy says that President Bush's plan for Social Security is for people like him.  He makes over $100,000.00 per year, and dad thinks he could invest the portion he pays to Social Security and make a higher return.  Is he right, Vic?

Donny Hanwright
9 years old
Memphis, TN
 

Dear Donny,

Boy, your dad is a smart man, but I bet his pee-pee isn't as big as Vic's!  Your dad is smart for thinking about what is best for him and not others.  I wish more Americans thought like your dad and President Bush.  Sadly, most Americans - at least half - are against President Bush’s Social Security Reform. They still think of Social Security as insurance. What a bunch of shit!  Dammit Donny, whatever happened to Americans wanting to make money?  Well, Donny, Vic has to end this letter. Vic hopes you’ll be a good little boy and learn from your dad to always back President Bush and the Republican Party.  And, hey. . . . .Vic wants to see a picture of you mom . . . if she is not to old - Vic prefers women between 25 and 38 - and if she looks good in a thong. . . .big tits, nice ass, plump lips….Cock-A-Doodle-Doo!   Hey Donny, always remember that Republicans stand for morals and values. We Republicans aren't like those damn immoral liberal Democrats!  Well, Vic has to go, but before I do, Donny. Have you ever heard your dad say anything about your mom and garden hoses? I mean, like, "She can suck an egg through a garden hose?"

Morally Yours
Vic

Dear Vic,

My mommy is 56 years old. I am her youngest child. I am 9 years old. Mommy says that President Bush shouldn't tamper with Social Security. What do you think, Vic?

Larry Crabtree
7 years old
Tupelo, MS

P.S.
I've enclosed a picture of my mommy wearing her bathing suit.
 

Dear Larry,

You little son-of-a-bitch!  Your mom is full of sh*t!  Hell, that damn picture of her made me sick! Not only is your mom a liberal-wacko, I bet she has a big twat too!  Damn, I've never seen a camel toe as bad as the one your mom has! Larry, if you ever write me again I will personally turn you in to the Homeland Security Department! President Bush has told old farts, like your camel-toed mom, that his plan wouldn't hurt people like her! Dammit, you little sh*thead, why don't you and your camel-toed mommy go to Russia and live!

Pissed Off,
Vic

Dear Vic,

President Bush has told us that his revamp of S.S. wouldn't hurt people over 55, but does this mean that it will hurt everyone under the age of 55?
Sally Lancaster
9 years old
Omaha, NE

P.S.
I enclosed a picture of my older sister, Janie. She is 21. The picture of Janie shows her getting out of my dad's swimming pool.  Mommie and daddy are d-i-v-o-r-c-e-d, and I live with my mommy. Dad's new wife, Linda, is in the picture behind Janie. I don't like Linda !!!

Dear Brenda,
I can see why your dad left your mommy, because, frankly Brenda, you ask too many damn stupid, leftist-loaded questions! Hell, grow-up Brenda and quit asking questions! Just do as you are told! On the picture that you sent me, WOW-WOW-WEE! Your dad's new wife has some mighty big tits! And, your sister, Janie, is hot! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Damn, Vic's beak really got hard looking at Janie and your dad's new wife!!!!

P.S. That glob in the corner of this letter is where Vic got hot and spewed his bird "droppings" while looking at the picture of your dad's new wife and your older sister.

Yours with a hard beak for your sister and step-mom,
Vic