As a former member of the CIA, I often am asked if I believe terrorists will strike inside the United States again.  My answer is always the following, "Terrorists may, or may not, depending on the given situation and the timing of such, strike the United States - within our borders, our homeland if you will - with chemical, nuclear, biological, or even a conventional weapon - depending on the given terrorist and the methods chosen by that particular terrorist, and the logistics in using such - however, then again, they may not strike us within our borders, but rather opt to remain underground while we are above ground - thus this leads me to state, without any doubt, I might add, that the answer to the question of whether or not a terrorist attack is probable or likely is. . . maybe yes or maybe no."

The new CIA chief, Porter Goss, summed-up my words when he testified before the senate the other day. His words, like my words, were to the point, clear, concise, poised, sobering, succinct, intriguing, mysterious, confusing, scary, forthright, downright, engaging, professional, illicit, vulgar, titillating, and just a hint of a sexual turn-on!  Spies like myself, and my boss -- Ken Starr -- love the way that Porter Goss thinks!

Ken Starr leaned over my left shoulder as I trained my binoculars to my next door neighbors:  Sheila Goodass and her sister Stacy.  They have long been suspected of being terrorists.  Some of their un-American activities include:  listening to Dixie Chicks cd's, supporting John Kerry for  President, supporting a woman's right to choose, wearing short skirts, and refusing to participate in President Bush's abstinence program.    I had thought for sometime that the lovely Sheila and Stacy were Islamic terrorists, even though they weren't Moslem.  There was just something about these two that I couldn't put my fingers on . . . namely their massive 34 D tits!  Still, I could feel something stirring inside my trousers as I stood there watching lovely Sheila and Stacy prepare for a night on the town. 

As I reached my hand down into my pants to touch myself, I thought about how lucky we are in this country.  We are lucky to have laws like the Patriot Act that make it legal for spies such as myself to gather intelligence, not to mention some really great pictures!  Indeed, we are lucky to have a President like President Bush, and an Attorney General like Alberto Gonzales who stands firm for Republican values.  My own Republican morals and values were throbbing with firmness, as I watched through my binoculars.

"I know she is an Islamic fanatic, or a communist spy, or maybe a combination of the two." I said as watched what was unfolding across the street from my house. .

"I think she is Jewish." Ken said as he began to interrogate his own trouser spy with a forceful grip.

It was at that moment that I put two and two together and came up with the answer. Yeah, one and one makes two, and two and two makes for a long evening!  Too many cooks spoil the stew, or at least that is what I am told, but still there was Sheila and Stacy Goodass and their 34 D tits uncovered.

"A Jewish Moslem Islamic fanatic communist spy!" I shouted.

It was about that time I saw Sheila Goodass remove her tight pants. Yeah, it was then that I knew she was hiding something, maybe a secret, maybe a "dirty bomb", maybe an "unconventional weapon", or a "bio - weapon", or maybe, just maybe, it was a well trimmed "spy box", that she was covering up inside her lacy, silky, Victoria Secret panties.  I longed to get to the bottom of it all.

"It's Monica all over again. . . . ." Ken stammered as he slowly touched himself.

After I had spewed my intell, I looked over at Ken and said, "We've got to follow her.  Wherever pretty, sexy, Sheila goes we've got to be there!"  Ken said nothing, but he was sweating profusely.

Ken Starr and I are on the case and we will not be deterred.  Ken Starr, myself, and Porter Goss, are spies for all the Republican Americans who hold morals and values as a way of life. Yeah, men like us working for men like President Bush and Don Rumsfeld, and we will do what it takes to keep something secret.  It is spies like us that keep spies like them away from people like you.

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