Saddam's Henchmen
 by:  Claymore D. Liddy, Ex-CIA Agent (Ret.), Republican Spy

I am Claymore D. Liddy and I am a spy for the Republican party.  In my world, the secret world, there are many twist and turns.  Sometimes up is down, and left is right.   It is a world that operates with no morals or values.  Everyday I walk among the scum, cheats, homos, perverts, murderers, drug dealers, and women with fake tits. I live in this sewer of depravity so you, the average Republican family man with the frigid wife and the hot-as-hell teenage daughter, can sleep safe at night. Yeah, as the old saying goes, "The names have been changed to protect the innocent." But, in my world, the secret world, there are no innocent ones, and so, the names are not changed, and life in this world goes on its merry way.

Ken Starr and I, Claymore D. Liddy, have started a new veterans group modeled after the Swift Boat Vets for Truth group. Ken and I, Claymore D. Liddy, were impressed with how the Swift Boat Vets bypassed the liberal media and took their fabrications to the people using FOX NEWS and the WASHINGTON TIMES, and other conservative outlets. Their efforts paid handsome dividends in stopping John Kerry's bid to be our next Commander-In-Chief.

Our veterans group will be known as, "UN-ARMORED HUM-VEE VETS FOR RIGHT WING PROPAGANDA" Ken and I, Claymore D. Liddy, were both tired of the liberal media's account of the realities on the ground in Iraq.  We hope to quell the notion that the Iraq war is going badly. Hey, if we're not winning then we wouldn't be suffering causalities! The liberal media glosses over this little known truth, and we all know that the truth will set you free, or it will kill your ass in the process!

FACTS ABOUT THE WAR IN IRAQ:

1. Things are great!
2. Iraq's economy is growing, and new businesses are opening everyday to replace the businesses that have lost the lease or had a "BLOW-OUT SALE", or a "FIRE SALE," or a "SCRATCH AND DENT END OF THE YEAR CLOSE-OUT SALE."
3. 90% of the Iraqis want us there.
4. 1 out of 5 Iraqis say that they plan on thinking about voting.
5. Schools are open and kids are going to school well armed.
6. Some teenage Iraqi school girls have been knocked-up by teenage Iraqi school boys that plan on joining the Iraq National Guard when they graduate.
7. Used Car sales are at an all-time high! It has been reported that many Iraqis are bragging about having, "A two car-bomb garage."
8. Oil and Gas are plentiful and running down the streets of most Iraqi cities.
9. Iraqis are proud of the fact that their new constitution allows for the average Iraqi to carry firearms.
10. The more the insurgents kill and destroy is a sign that freedom is taking hold.

I, Claymore D. Liddy, could have listed many, many more facts, but really, do we need more proof?  I don't think so, and President Bush doesn't think we need more proof either!

We are bringing Saddam's henchmen to justice. Bringing these men to justice is a sure sign that we are winning!  We all have heard of Chemical Ali, but there are many other TOP SECRET henchmen that the liberal media have not reported on.  Now for the first time ever, I will print their names and crimes for all the world to read.

1. YABBA-DABBA, a.k.a DILDO DABBA - This General was behind the making of Saddam's huge surplus of Dildos. It was told that Dildo Dabba once turned his DMD's (dildos of mass destruction) on an entire Kurd village.
2. BEN-WA-JIHAD, a.k.a. BEN-WA-BALLS JIHAD - He was in charge of Saddam's Ben-Wa-Ball production. His plan was to insert an entire Kurd village with Ben-Wa-Balls.
3. AKMID-ALI-HUSSEIN, a.k.a ANAL ALI - Had devised a scheme to "do" an entire Kurd town in the pooter.
4. SADAM-ALI-SADDAM, a.k.a. SADAM THE SODOMIZER - Had plans to drill an entire Kurd village while they were asleep.
5. DIHAR-ALI-KAMELTOURD, a.k.a KAMELTOURD WHICH MEANS "CAMEL POOP OF FIRE"- Guilty of stockpiling over 10,000 paper bags filled with dog poop. DIHAR, once knocked on the doors of Kurds and placed bags of flaming dog poop on their front steps.

These are just a few of the infamous, sadistic, men of Saddam Hussein that have been captured and now await justice. You won't hear their names reported by the liberal media, you'll only hear about it from patriotic Americans like those here at RepublicanPress.com!

About The Author

Claymore D. Liddy

1975----- Graduates Toat Private High school 1976----- Enrolls at West Point 1977----- Drops out of West Point 1978----- Works for father's company "Liddy, Liddy, and Liddy" 1979----- Re-enters West Point 1980----- Caught watching "Plebes" undress              Dismissed once again from West Point 1981---- Enrolls at Liberty University in Virginia             1982----- Graduates early from Liberty with B.S. in Morals 1983---- Works in Reagan White House 1984--- Caught lying to Congress and watching White House male interns undress. 1985--- Goes to work with CIA 1986---- As a SPY in CIA appears before congress for acts committed by him in Grenada with student at medical school and a jungle monkey by the name of "COCO" 1987----Classified 1988----Classified 1989----Classified 1990----Classified 1991----Classified 1992----Classified 1993--- Marries Lucy Grimes, cheerleader at Liberty 1994- Fired by Clinton from CIA 1995-- Freelance spy work and Assistant baseball coach at Liberty University 1996--- Caught watching baseball players masturbating to pornos that he had rented. 1997---Re-assigned at Liberty university to coaching girls softball. 1998--- Retires from Liberty University after several girl softball players become pregnant 1999--- Freelance spy work 2000--- Father dies leaves Claymore a vast fortune. 2001----Claymore sells Liddy, Liddy, and Liddy 2002-- RepublicanPress.com 2003-- Republicanpress.com