Republican Humor and Conservative Satire

Senate Majority Leader, Bill Frist, is joining me in Kentucky next week for a big blow-out, Christian style. The Family Research Council, and other right-leaning, get-down-on-your-knees, proud-to-be-toting-guns, all-American, all-white, conservative religious organizations, are sponsoring this event called, "Justice Sunday," or if you will, "Just Us Sunday."

Hell, we have no other choice than to form some type of coalition and fight for what we believe America should be! Dammit, the liberal judges that sit on our nation's benches have bent us over and rammed us full of liberalism! It is time for us to come together and run these panty waist liberal judges from our courtrooms. We have a message and that message is, "NO ABORTIONS! NO CONDOMS! FREEDOM TO SEPARATE PEOPLE FREEDOM TO CARRY A GUN! FREEDOM TO MAKE YOU SAY OUR PRAYERS! FREE TO FORCE FEED THOSE THAT ARE CLINICALLY BRAIN DEAD! FREE TO PACK THE COURTROOMS WITH GOOD, SEMI-DECENT, DEATH-PENALTY-LOVING JUDGES!"

President Bush has nominated 215 judges, and the liberal Democrat Senate has only approved 205! What a damn sad, sad, state that we right-leaning Republicans have to live in! Why can't every judge that President Bush nominates be approved?

We have forgotten the rights that have made this nation great. The right to bear arms is one of those rights that liberals have want to take from us. If we had more guns there would be less crime, less trouble in our schools, and less people. It is time America wakes-up from its bed of liberal fornication and allows everyone the right to be armed! I ask you, "How many problems would there be in our public schools if we armed every teacher, every school principal, and certain approved conservative students with guns?"

Of course, the answer would be there would be no trouble! You give guns to teachers, and by-God little Johnny will learn to read! You stick a .44 Magnum in some kid's face, and by-God that kid will get up off his/her ass and do that homework on time! It's just that f**king simple! Speaking of f**king - we have let the schools hand out condoms like they were candy, but by-God try and force a kid to pray in school, and damned if they won't lock your ass up in jail!

This nation was founded by good, semi-decent, white, Christian men, of the non-Catholic faith. Sure, there were some Catholics and maybe a Jew or two, but mainly good, white, Baptist, Church of God and others. These soul journeyers came here with guns blazing. They came here because that wanted to force those not like them to pray like them. They came here to spread the word that every man has a right to fight for what he believes in, or die trying. Good people serving good people were these first Americans as they landed on the shores of South Carolina. These were hard working men that wanted nothing more than a good woman at home, some bad women at the local tavern, freedom to force their beliefs on others, and of course, the death penalty for those that didn't agree. We, today, have forgotten from where we came and the men that came on us!

Senator Bill Frist and Representative Tom DeLay are standing for all of us that believe that America should return to our roots. These brave leaders believe in the NRA, Jerry Falwell, Pat Roberston, and they don't want any part of condoms and abortin' babies! These brave leaders want America to return to the days of yesterday, when a woman
was forced to have that little bastard that was planted in her by the seeds of lust! They want us to return to when men married the good girls, because they wouldn't, and the men "did" the bad girls, because they would! They want us to return to the days of hangings and quick trials - where right was right, because we said it was!

Join me and Senator Bill Frist as we visit with some of America's most pious men! Help us to help them, so we can help ourselves!

If you would like to help support this site use the links below. Thank you.