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Dateline: service station in Arapaho, Oklahoma
Slappy Peterson, the other colored man at RepublicanPress.com and I went undercover fo’ our latest assignment. We’z went to work fo' Lester Smiley, the owner and perpetrator of Mr. Smiley's Gas Stop. We'z happily don our pump monkey unifoams, so we'z could infesticate the price of gash - and who be responsible fo' the high prices of said gash.
Mr. Smiley's Gas Stop's motto is: "Eat and get Gas at Mr. Smiley's!" This little gash station not only sold gasholine but it be a place where weary travelers could satisfy they hunger with a greasy-spoon type of a meal.
"President Brush knows that we'z need to drill fo' mo' gash and that be the answer to our addiction we'z as a country have to oil." I'z remark to Slappy as I'z flip the chicken I'z be frying fo' the oncoming lunch rush.
"Yes, yes and he - President Brush - knows we'z not need to infest in alternating fuels like: ethereal, or solarcaine power, hydration fuel cells, and geospheric razzle-dazzle. It be simple, or in gynecological sense, that only turd-world countries such as Brazeer would happen stance to infest in technologies that don't deal with oil." Slappy orally emaciated in his brackish manor, as he mopped the dining room flo'. He half-smoked cigar dangled from he thick bottom lip as he made his thought provoking boutonniere of babblature. I nodded my nappy head in agreasement with Slappy's words, then I dumped the fried chicken into a big ass stainless steel pan.
After we'z did the befo' opening hours chores, Slappy and I went out to our pump monkey station, which be located by the pectrois pumps. There, we'z stood in our all white uniforms with big shit eattin' colored man grins. Mr. Smiley told us to flash our pearly whites and we'z did. Service with a smile, fo' service without a smile is like getting sex without getting kissed!
"President Bush, he know that we'z got to fight and drill fo' mo' oil. It be the democrats that not be fo' drilling in ANWAR SADATS in Alaska. You know, that place up north where them polarized bears be." I'z explunged out loud, as I'z clean the shit off the windsheild of a customoaner. I then noticed Mr. Smiley watching us, and so I rub that windshield as fast, and hard as I could. Yes sir, I scrub that son-of-a-bitch like a bastard!
"Moist defiantly, and too, I moist add that he- President Brush - hurt bad to drill in ANWAR SADDAT'S in Alaska, the way I'z hurts fo' white women, he do." Slappy mortified back to me as he pump the pectrois into the big cadillac's tank.
I noticed that Slappy had he big brown eyes perched steadfastly on the driver of the Cadillac. Yeah, the driver be a blonde haired white woman of sexual encampment. A looker, she be, with great big white woman titties and flat-as-hell white woman's ass. Just right down Slappy’s neoclassic alley, I'z thunk to myself in my mind.
I then watched with great whore as Slappy crawled into her car. I still scrub the windshield as Slappy and her began to exfoliate. The Cadillac started bouncing up and down from the intense pounding by Slappy on her. Yeah, Slappy's monstrosity extirpated - he's boa-construction snake - was drillin' her own ANWAR SADDAT"S that lay in her neither regions.
"Slappy!" I screeched in a rather high tone of discomfort, as I'z peck on the windshield. I'z just knews that Slappy's sexual hurly-burly was goin' to gets us fired!
"Is our chil'ren being learned? That is the quisby that President Brush axed and now I axe you'z" Slappy say as he drill away.
Sure enough, Mr. Smiley caught Slappy doing her. So, he fired Slappy and me. Slappy didn't quite understand until he ejected his seeds of lust, but I'z understood right from the get-go.
"Slappy, we'z got to find another pectrois station to continue our infestation. Thanks to you, we'z been excommunicated from Mr. Smiley's." I preached at Slappy.
"Yes, yes, but can we'z really say's that it be high price of pectrois? I thunk not; for the flee-market system decides the price of any giving products. It be simple, vaginal disorder comes from big government involvement into the flee-market namby-pamby. It behovers us to do as President Brush axe us to do, and that be drill mo' and fight mo' and buy gash juggling automobiles." Slappy dictated as he looked at me and scratched his big black nuts, through his white pump monkey pants.
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