Cancun, Mexico - President Bush flew into this Mexican resort city, with plenty of wrangling from Republicans going on in D.C.

President Bush feels that he can't forget the lesson of 9-11." said Scott McClellan, the White House press-secretary.  This reporter noticed that Scott was dressed in his cabana shirt, plaid shorts, and a goofy hat on a top his stump shaped head.  This unnamed reporter was here to cover this press conference with Scott  McClellan and Secretary of Labor Elaine Chao.

Helen Thomas, the famed old White House press corps member, was yelling out questions. Scott tried his best to ignore Helen, but her raspy old voice finally made Scott relent.

"Scott, can the Secretary of Labor, Ms Chao share her views on illegal immigrants taking nearly 12 million jobs from hard working Americans?"  Helen asked.

Ms Chao, stepped up to the podium and delivered her eloquent defense:

"Irregal immigrants work-a harrrd.  We love them long time.  They work big work for small pay.  Make me so horrrny.  Irregal immigrants boo-coo good for American economy.   President Bush and Repubrican party love them long time.   Boo coo good for big business.  Repubricans against cheap labor are boo-coo number 10!  President Bush boo-coo number 1!"

This un-named reporter was impressed with the depth of her answer, but sadly this un-named reporter could not stick around for the whole press conference.  It seems the Mexican water had begun to work on my bowels, and this unnamed Republican reporter soon found himself thinking about morals and values on a dirty toilet in the lobby.  I'm sure Elaine Chao just kept talking that bullshit, "Blah, blah, blah..."  Unfortunately I had to cut this wire report short with a serious case of taco shits.