From RepublicanPress.com
Konservative Kids Book
By Vic The Vulture
Feb 10, 2006 - 10:10:00 PM
Kompassionate Konservative
Kids Book!
by: Vic The Vulture, Raising Tomorrow's Neocons Today!
Hey boys and girls! Did you see where Bill O’Reilly of FoxNews channel has written a book for kids? That’s right, Bill will be teaching kids everywhere how to have morals and values like a true Republican! Vic was so excited about this news he nearly blew his egg yolk in his pants! Bill has made a fortune off of his books, so Vic has decided to write a book about morals and values for kids too and try to cash in on this gravy train!
Vic knows that this is an election year, and you boys and girls are probably overwhelmed by all the grownup issues on the news! Wow-ee, cutting through all the liberal propaganda can be hard. Especially when the liberal-fu**ing-media is out to smear our brave leader, President Bush. So guess who the liberal media wants to be the next President? John F**king Kerry that's who! What a bastard John F**king Ker*y is! I bet John F**king Ke**y is a mothe*-Fu*king Frenchman that would pussy foot around with the terrorists!
Vic’s new book will be called, Kompassionate Konservatism Starts In The Home. It is about a young boy by the name of Vic and his family which includes his dad, Vince, and his dad's third wife, Vanity. Young Vic learns morals and values from his dad and his dad's third wife and these lessons help Vic to come to grips with his Republican morals and values. WOW-WEE doesn’t this son-of-*-bitching book sound like it would be fun to read? You bet your sweet a** it does!
Here is an excerpt from Kompassionate Konservatism Starts In The Home.
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Kompassionate Konservatism Starts In The Home
Chapter 1
Dad's third wife gets the carpet cleaned while dad is out of town on business.
It was a beautiful day, and Dad had just left to go out of town on a business trip. Ding-Dong, went the doorbell. Vic watched as his step mom opened the door to reveal a massive black man named, Ray. Ray had a huge hose that sucked the dirt out of the carpet. Ray was about 6 feet 6 inches tall, and blacker than the Ace of Spades! Vic had never seen a black man in his home before and he was scared. Vic had always heard about coloreds, and blacks, but they always lived in the poor neighborhoods. Vic's home was in an upscale area of town. Vic wondered that night why Ray didn’t go home after he finished cleaning the carpet. "Ray is going to rob us!" Vic thought.
After dad's third wife had tucked Vic in bed, Vic quietly crept back down the stairs. Big black Ray was talking to Vic’s mom and she was wearing some of the clothes from Victoria’s Secret that Vic’s dad had bought for her. "Ray is going to rob Vanity!" Vic surmised as he watched Vanity kiss Ray's thick lips. Vanity took Ray to her bedroom and Vic heard strange noises coming out of Vanity's bedroom. "Ray is hurting dad's third wife Vanity!" Vic thought as he ran down the hallway to Vanity's bedroom. The door was locked and Vic couldn't get inside. "OH YES! F**k me you black bastard!" Vic heard Vanity screaming. Vic was worried, so he looked in through the key hole. "Ray's got a long black hose, that hangs to his knees!" Vic said to himself. It wasn't the same hose that Ray had used to suck the dirt out of the carpet - no that hose was a tan color, this damn hose was longer, thicker, and black like Ray!
Vic watched as Ray poled the shit out of Vanity with that big black pole of his! "Wow-wee Ray has dad's third wife Vanity on all fours and he is humping her like a dog!" Vic said as he reached down into his Superman pajama bottoms to touch himself. "WOW-WEE, I didn't know dad's third wife Vanity had such big tits!" Vic exclaimed as he came to grips with his Republican morals and values by gripping his "special place" in his pajama bottoms. |
COCK-A-DOODLE-DO! WOW-WEE this book is a must read! I can't tell you boys and girls about anymore of it, because Vic wants you little bastards to get your moms and dads to buy this book!
Wow, Vic sure had a good time researching for this book, and damn, Vic got a kick out of looking at the illustrations in the book too! I hope that you boys and girls will also!
Well, shit, another column has come and gone, and Vic's wife Vicky is out of town. WOW-WEE! Vic is going down to Pete Possum's Club, you know, Pete's BIRD STRIP CLUB. It is a nice place where female birds strut their tail feathers in front of male birds like Vic. Vic hopes he gets lucky tonight! WOW-WEE! Vic could use some strange, so buy Vic's book and keep sending Vic pictures of your hot-as-hell moms!
Cock-A-Doodle-Do!
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