Editorials
Our Founding Fathers' Pounding Brothers
By Brother Merv Kilgore
Aug 21, 2006 - 9:04:00 PM

I threw my hat into the ring and now I am a candidate for Tom DeLay's old seat. Yes, threw my hat, ripped off my shirt - exposed my man tits - and unzipped my pants to do battle in the political arena.

Where do I go to find solace?

What motivates me?

Do those male enhancement products really work?

How does history affect my political view?

Are they real, or are my wife's tits fake?

All these questions are asked of me as I travel this great state of Texas.
I am a Texan, in the mold of Crockett, Travis, and Bowie. But, just as these brave Texans knew, I also know that the greatest men are sometimes the brothers of  famous men.

So, in my first installment about famous men and their brothers, I focus on Ben
Franklin's brother, Lonnie.   
 

In 1755 (Pennsylvania Assembly: Reply to the Governor, Tue, Nov 11, 1755), Ben Franklin wrote: "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."

In 1756 (A  Pennsylvania Pub called, "The Lucky Patriot", Lonnie Franklin wrote:  "Those that would give up security for liberty, to purchase a little "strange", deserve neither liberty or a little "strange".  For, it is up to those like us to get what we can from those that are like them...and then....a bird in the hand is better than getting shit from a bush."

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"Eat to live, and not live to eat." - Ben Franklin

"Eat me, or eat shit and die, I don't give a rat's ass!" Lonnie Franklin said to a bartender in Pittsburgh one cold, rainy night.

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"After three days man grows weary of a wench, a guest, and weather rainy." - Ben Franklin

"For three days I did a wench, and it rained like a son-of-a-bitch, and I got the clap!"  said Lonnie Franklin to some male friends.

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"Necessity never made a good bargain." Ben Franklin

"Out of necessity, she took up my offer and I banged her for two bits, and a bag
of rolled oats." Lonnie Franklin to said this Hank Hancock, the brother of John Hancock.

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"Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead!" Ben Franklin

"Three may keep a secret, but you can damn well bet that they will blackmail the shit out of you to keep that secret!"  Lonnie Franklin to Wilbur Washington, the brother of George Washington.

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"Opportunity is the great bawd." Ben Franklin

"If I get the opportunity I'll bang her." Lonnie Franklin to Betsy Ross' brother, Roger Ross.

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"Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."  Ben
Franklin.

"Early to bed, early to rise, makes this man horny to go to bed!"  Lonnie Franklin.

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"Tis, easy to see, but hard to foresee." Ben Franklin

"Let me see, and I'll get a hard-on for all to see!" Lonnie Franklin to a group
of women at a whore house.