|
|
 As Senator John McCain's big armored SUV, loaded with other Republican Congressmen, slowly made it's way through the crowded Baghdad street, I couldn't help but shed a warrior's tear. I knew - and Colonel Pooner knew - that freedom is indeed "messy", as former Secretary of Defense DonRumsfeld had once ruminated to the American people about this war in Iraq.
"Freedom is messy." I said as I wiped the warrior tears that flowed down my old, wrinkled, bullet scared face. I then farted twice, as to add a punctuation mark to my three words, out of my old, wrinkled, bullet riddled arse.
"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." Colonel Pooner replied as he rolled down the window of our Haliburton Olds 98.
"Well, if that's the case, these people are definitely free here in this land of sand; for they have nothing else to lose." I remarked as the hot, dry Iraq wind blew into the Olds 98, taking away the stench of my farts and spreading their aroma out into the Iraqi atmosphere.
The motorcade, which consisted of more than 100 soliders in armored humvees and attack helicopters, circled overhead headed to the market area in Baghdad known as Shorja.
Shorja is Baghdad's 5th Avenue of sorts, or it's Hell's Kitchen, depending on which way one chooses to look at it. But, Shorja has shops where the everyday 'Raqi goes to shop for goods such as: t.v.s, watches, fresh dates, bathroom supplies, sex toys, computers, video games, clothes, condoms, radioes, fresh bread, fresh fish, dildoes, cameras, video recorders, window curtains, window shades, cock-rings, medicine, apples, oranges, grapes, motion lotion, tee-shirts, jewery, nose hair removers, and of course, blowup sex dolls.
"Like a normal outdoor market in Indiana in the summertime," said Rep. Mike Pence of the great state of Indiana, or maybe the not-so great state of Indiana, depending of course on how you take Rep. Pence's comment. Rep. Pence walked around the market, surrounded by guards, and protected by his heavy, bullet proof flax jacket. I nodded at Rep Pence's words, all the while keeping a keen eye for bombers, snipers and other evil-doers. I noticed Colonel Pooner as he too watched and waited.
"Damn, Indiana must have really taken it hard being bounced out of the NCAA tournament, if it is like this place." Colonel Pooner said to me, as I picked up an Iraqi made dildo which proudly boasted of it's orgin on it's side.
IRAQI PRIDE it read in bold letters down each side of it's long dong shaft, all the way to the well shaped balls.
"Remind me to not shop in the Hoosier state." He added.
"Semper-Fi, my friend." I said to Colonel Pooner, then I watched as he scratched his warrior cod - his right cod had long since gone when "Charlie" made a 'Nam nut stew with it - with his manly left hand.
"Morty, this blowup 'Raqi doll looks like your old lady." Pooner remarked as he fondled the doll with both of his hairy, manly hands. He then began to "dry hump" the 'Raqi doll while shouting out my wife's name.
My temper got the best of me. I couldn't help but remember what Pooner and my wife did the last time Pooner and I were on R and R. Those images ran through my mind like a hot knife, images of me watching them in the throes of passion and hot, randie, lustful, knock the-bottom out of it sex. Those images, that temper of mine, - got the best of me.
"You damn horny rat bastard!" I yelled as I raised my M16 above my head. I then slammed the butt end of my M16 into Pooner's bald, bulbous head. The sound was that of someone smashing a ripe Georgia melon with ant iron pipe. Blood oozed rapidly from Pooner's bald, bulbous head, like pissing from a boot. Then, Pooner crumpled to the dust floor with a thud.
Yes, I felt guilty for what I had done. Pooner, he was my best friend, my Army pal for over 50 years. We had been through the Korean War, Vietnam, Grenada, Gulf War I, Bosinia, Afghanistan, and now this latest war in Iraq. So, with these feelings of remorse I looked down at him as he laid there. I then reared back and kicked him in his cod!
"Mother F**king bald rat bastard!" I yelled as I kicked him.
Somehow, Colonel Pooner grabbed my left leg and gave it a hearty pull, which sent me tumbling over onto the dust floor. He then "sucker" punched me with his manly man fist. His punches reached their mark and laid waste to my war weary face. Blood gushed from my war weary nose, once again like piss pouring from a boot.
"C**k-Sucker!" Pooner yelled, as blow after blow rained down upon me.
KABOOM! was the sound that rattled the shops' windows.
"Business is Booming!" Senator John McCain said as he laughed, as we all climbed to our feet and dusted ourselves of the debris. Pooner and I realized that we had bigger fish to fry and our fighting with one another wasn't helping matters.
"Damn 'Raqi bastards!" I shouted as I squeezed round after round from my M16.
"Here's a little freedom for you!" Pooner screamed out as he too hammered down on his weapon.
RAT-A-TAT-TAT, BANG, BANG, BANG, RAT-A-TAT-TAT! were the sounds that echoed from our weapons.
"Killing is our business and business is booming!" Pooner yelled
© Copyright by RepublicanPress.com
Top of Page
|
|
|
|
