"The Army appears likely to fall short of its full-year recruiting goal for the first time since 1999, raising - in Liberal circles - longer-term questions about a military embroiled in its first glorious war since switching from the draft to a volunteer force 32 years ago.

One thing is, that the American economy is booming like a big howitzer,
because of PRESIDENT BUSH'S TAX CUTS, and many kids tell us they can
make more money by working at WAL-MART than they can in the Army."
said General Electric, a general in the sales department of the U.S. Army.

"General Electric is right! And, I'm not saying that just because General
Electric in on the board of the 700 Club." remarked a spokesman of Pat
Robertson 700 club, who wished to remain nameless, due to threats
of torture from former President Jimmy Carter.

Officials said Wednesday that although the Army will not release its numbers
until Friday, recruitment fell about 25 percent short of its target of signing up 6,700
recruits - a level already cut from earlier goals.

"We have documented proof that the reasons recruitment is down is
because of the LIBERAL MEDIA'S constant portrayal of death, destruction,
mayhem, and long tours of duty in Iraq!  Who is the LIBERAL MEDIA for?
We think we have proof locked away in the form of documents in our safe at our home office in Virginia Beach!"  A spokesperson for the 700 Club said, as he pointed to a picture of the room that held the safe, which in turn contained the documents.

"Iraq isn't that bad. A kid could join-up today in the Army, train like a
son-of-a-bitch, get good food, clothes, get laid, and then be shipped off
to fight in a GREAT PATRIOITIC WAR in Iraq. Hey, it isn't too bad of
a deal at all!" General Electric added.